Hello, I’m Sarah. I’m a British-born Australian citizen, Single Mother By Chance & Choice (SMBC) and business owner. For years, I wanted to raise a family of my own. I dreamt of having a perfect family with beautiful, happy children in a gorgeous house. It all seemed so easy! I sincerely wanted to raise my children in a loving, stable environment with a man who would complement my mindset and beliefs. After several failed relationships, I felt my dreams of a family slipping away. It left me feeling completely lost. Not because I was lonely, but because I thought I had missed the opportunity to have a child. I then met a man (my ex-husband), who displayed wonderful qualities. I thought I’d struck gold. After a year of trying for a baby I suggested we both get tested, and it turned out he was infertile. It filled me with an enormous sense of loss, as I had a deep desire for a family. Eventually we both decided to explore the idea of using a sperm donor. I researched the possibilities, looked at success rates and the process of IVF, and eventually decided to take control and jump right in. I knew this was right; I had found a way to actually make my lifelong dream a reality. Choosing a complete stranger to be the biological father of my child was going to be the most important decision of my life. I trusted my intuition and narrowed it down to a handful of men. One in particular seemed more radiant and suitable and he was prepared to go the extra mile to meet the Australian criteria. So I chose him.
The day I found out we had a donor, I felt like I was dancing on pure sunshine. The fact that a complete stranger was going to help us have a baby was nothing short of a miracle. There were still plenty of hurdles to overcome but the hardest part had been achieved. I wasted no time and started IVF. After two failed IVF cycles, the third one resulted in a successful pregnancy. One of the best calls I ever received was being told “You’re pregnant!”. I had sunshine in my soul permanently from that very moment. Sadly, my husband was not on the same page. The reality of having a child that was not biologically his was simply too challenging for him to accept. I took the gigantic leap of faith and decided to be a Single Mother By Choice, or some might say Single Mother by Chance, as my husband and I went our separate ways.
The journey to motherhood may not have been conventional, but this is the modern family. Family is a small word that describes so much. Family composition is definitely changing; almost a third of children globally are raised by single mothers. It’s difficult to find detailed data on single parent’s trends and statistics, but what is clear is that we are seeing the emergence of women taking the decision into their own hands and becoming single mothers by choice and I wholeheartedly applaud them. Advancements in fertility technology, increasing options, and access to donors makes it more feasible for women to choose when the time is right to establish a family. Single women make up about a half of all women waiting for sperm donation. Increasingly, women are embracing this way of having a child. Taking destiny into their own hands, these women have a robust sense of courage and fierceness that will support them through the journey ahead.
Science is a part of my child, as is his biological father. But the biggest part of him is me. I know he will grow up understanding and appreciating the enormity of having a single mother and be proud that I support and encourage other single parents and applaud their immense courage by embracing their power of choice. Families come in all different shapes and sizes, and every single one deserves to be celebrated.
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Dating is hard at the best of times, but when you're a single mumma it can be even more daunting and complex. After all, it’s not just you to consider anymore. Your time is so precious and you’d rather spend time with your beautiful child than going on a plethora...
This is a conversation I’ve had with so many friends, it seems to be such an interesting topic. I’m open about Maximilian being conceived through donor sperm (not to everyone until now I guess!) but on the whole I’m pretty relaxed about it. Sometimes, I like to watch people’s reactions...
First comes love, then marriage, then the baby carriage…? It’s not always the case in the modern world! These days, there’s nothing taboo about choosing to become a single mother on your own. Marriage is not the financial necessity it once was, women are so capable of earning a decent wage...
The Special Two - Now Available
The Special Two is a beautiful short story that was written to explain and introduce the concept of being a donor-conceived child. It’s a simple but thoughtful explanation outlining the journey of a baby being created through IVF with the help of a generous stranger. This was written with mindfulness and a deep appreciation and connection for the amazing gift of life and is explained with an abundance of love, thought, and passion. Showing a child that they were born into this world uniquely and that they were deeply desired even before conception is so important. This is a story for all children to show how families are created in many ways and to provide an insight into the modern family. It is also a tribute to all the selfless people providing a way for so many precious children to be in this world.